he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
