A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
