ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she told me i tasted like america
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
