Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
