R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Text me some of your sweat
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
