Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
