Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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