hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize