just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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