like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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