i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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