the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish i was in the wii world.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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