Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize