ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
