I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
me + whiskey = a bad person
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
