New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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