Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
