that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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