in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Two words: nipple clamps
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