$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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