My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
