We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
