So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
