Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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