i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
