What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
