did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
