she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
