yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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