I hate your face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
