Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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