omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
