If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
