i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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