I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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