Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sorry about my life...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
