I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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