I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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