Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You are a genius and a whore.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize