The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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