so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
