at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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