Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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