the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
