perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
