All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i dont even know how to be here
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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