some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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