i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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