her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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