Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
