just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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