Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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