Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
