Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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