You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
