What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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