Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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