bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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