Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
