i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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