No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
