Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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